Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a number of terms that foreigners just in Korea learn and one of them is frequently your message chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this term in their sentences that are english doubt and employ it seemingly without understanding exactly what it means. It is probably certainly one of my minimum words that are favorite Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I became taking lessons that are korean days per week for four hours every day. I became devouring just as much as I could for the language because I became dating a Korean man, almost all of my buddies had been Korean not to mention I became residing in Korea and I also wished to make life just a bit easier. Before you take the classes, I happened to be hesitant and weary of the things I regarded as forced respect inside the guidelines for arablounge the language, areas of the language that force us to show a respect that I may not need for some body. Simply because individuals are older doesn’t mean they always deserve respect as well as that point I’d held it’s place in sufficient situations to learn that a number of, frequently, guys just assumed that i ought to be respectful of those and even though they disrespected me in various ways. Through the classes, I discovered simple tips to show my disapproval when being disrespected without being downright rude and I also learned just how to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest classes we discovered, nevertheless, had been that We have nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here on out “friend” in parenthesis could be the Korean type of buddy while a friend that is freestanding function as the English variation.)

My better half, boyfriend during the time, and I also chose to have a meet up at our home and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us all over table and I also was the foreigner that is only the area. As of this point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of his buddies for a beneficial 4 or 5 years as well as in my tongue that is native would call them my buddies. Following the meals ended up being completed therefore the dishes found, a game was thought by me could be fun. Using what I’d discovered from class about how to phone somebody by title, I stated, “So-yung-a, would you like to play a game title?” utilising the reduced type of the language. I had been confidence that is gaining the language and utilizing it whenever i possibly could. There clearly was an audible gasp and after a matter of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two of this more aggressively conservative people in the group told me i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Friend 1: So-yung is more than you will be.

Buddy 2: You can’t state “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than this woman is.

Me: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me personally: What can you mean? I’ve known her for a long time. We have her contact number within my phone. We see her a great deal. We have been friends and my book says this is certainly an appropriate ending for a buddy.

Friend 2: No, you can’t be friends because this woman is more than you may be.

Me personally: we don’t know very well what you’re saying.

Buddy 1: you are able to simply be buddies with some one that’s the exact same age as yourself.

Me personally: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You are all my buddies and you are all more than i will be.

Friend 1: We aren’t friends and family.

After because I was just told I had no friends and also because the language they were using to express their viewpoint was very aggressive and I don’t handle aggressive situations very well that I went to my room for a little cry mostly. Originating from a teaching standpoint, aggressively attacking a student for making use of a word or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever makes the student respond in a way that is positive. Often, the learning pupil can be more fearful to make use of the language or attempt to utilize terms in the foreseeable future unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later that I don’t assault them if they misuse a word, if it is extremely rude, I remind myself it’s not their first language and I also make an effort to assist them to realize why it can be taken the wrong method. My “friends” however, are not therefore patient with my language acquisition. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two associated with the more tolerant people in our team came in to calm me and explain in nicer terms what everybody had gotten so upset about.

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